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Today is aug.
26 2004, My story is about my hero my son. As a
dad I was a real tyrant, married way to young,
to a fantastic lady and mother, I was more
interested in partying and acting out than taking responsibilities
as a father. I
had a lousy relationship with my first born (daughter),
Still have
issues but we work on them and realize we still are a "family" and
will try and resolve issues as they may come.
She is becoming a very important part of
the issues I face.
With my son "my Baby"
who is now 31 yrs old made a very
successful life for himself, he left home at 20 yrs old and moved to
British Columbia (Canada)
to do what all young guy's want to do, experience life with his
buddies. He went
through some rough time's on his own , but managed to suck it up and
kept on looking after himself. Eventually,
he ended up in Whistler B.C, loved to ski,
snowboard etc. As time went on, he managed to
end up learning all on his own, a welding and
sheet metal fabrication trade, He served his apprenticeships, went to
trade school all on his own and passed his exams
and became a very successful metal worker.
He was eventually given a job at Fort Mac Murray Edmonton Alberta
Canada,
Better known as the "Syncrude Tar Sands" The
salaries were extremly high for trades people EG:80k-120K a year plus
benefits, of course the location entailed extreme
weather conditions, Northern Canada Dec-Mar avg.
0-5 degrees -30 -0 degrees Celsius.
Trades people were in high demand from
all over, Our son had the world by the ass, New
50:000:00 car, Owned his own home, lots
of girl friends, Complete success story, we were soooo proud
of him.
Yeah well , it is now 5 mo.
after he was introduced to "CRACK".
He has lost approx 60 lbs, does not eat, eyes are glazed over, lost his
home, car is being repo`d, lives??? with another female
"CRACK" addict, is paranoid delusional, Will not
accept any help, he has
overcharged his visa acct 5:000:00 $$ Has
not opened his mail in3-4 months, does not have
any idea how much money he has or really cares.
He told me, hey dad I
push the buttons, the money
comes out, who cares?? To wrap this story up, we
have a plane ticket waiting for him to come home
and get some serious help, he decided life was better
where he was because his girlfriend (Enabler) was more important
than his mom and dad, You wanna do crack Go ahead, Welcome to my
Night Mare.
Follow Up
Well my hero?? son has come
home, brought his dog, his enabler
girlfriend and all his problem`s into our world. Took all of a week to
bring crack into our house, found his paraphenalia
in basment, Raised hell, said no more or you are out on your ass.
Following week, him and
girlfriend said they needed a night alone out of the basement room, rented
a motel room and you guessed it, POW another night of drugs. Raised
shit again, How do you throw two kids??? out into the street, with winter
coming.
Well guess what?? another week
and now he uses his mom's car to do drugs, used her car and stayed out all
night, no phone calls,
nothing, phoned police, reported car stolen, Found car downtown, drug
paraphernalia in car, thank god we found car, not cops,He phoned next morning, crying his eyes out, admitted he fucked up, felt
like a complete loser, admitted himself to detox ctr. As of oct 18 he has
no more use of our cars, How long in detox? Who knows, 2-5 days I guess.
long term prog`s are totally booked for up for 3-6 mos, This kid
is really turning into yesterdays news quickly. BIG QUESTION FOLKS??
Do I spend all
my savings?
and little bit of retirement savings to send him to a private treatment
centre, borrow the money from his grandmother,Or Tell him to get out, handle you and your Addict girlfriend s
problems and grow the fuck up and start getting clean and responsible on
your own with out mommy and daddy's help,P.S She has started to go to n/a meetings on her own.he is 32 yrs old, when do we cut the umbilical cord?
Thx for the shoulder to cry on.
I
year later
Well folks, I am mildly pleased that my son my hero, crack addict,
screwed up ,back to being a human being again
is succeeding and doing reasonably well on his way to getting his life
back together, Has gotten back to work in his chosen trade, gained 40 lbs
, He has a uphill battle every day, But as they say:" ONE DAY AT A TIME"
He has continued to work
steady, His mom looks after his finances to try and get him back in decent
financial order, we felt secure enough in him now to co-sign a loan for a
car for him to get to work in.
Does he use now and then?,
Probably, But if we expected perfection, we would have to be perfect
first. Does he have rough days often? Yep! But at least there is a larger
ray of light at the end of his tunnel, than a year ago. Will we keep
loving him?, As long as he is trying every day of his life,!! You can't
buy sobriety, but you sure as hell can support it!!
His Dad,
I welcome support letters
jnjlalonde@sympatico.ca
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